Emo with Sayoko
by Polaris18
Summary: Sayoko interviews emo's on her new talkshow. Not trying to bash emo's, I'm one myself, but slowly pulling my head out of my ass. Fic dedicated to KousukeAsazuki
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Alright, I've been wondering if I was going to do this or not, and finally decided that I wanted to. Note, this is almost like a sequel to "Behind the scenes of Spiral" that I posted, and then most likely deleted a few days back, so if you haven't read it, don't worry about it. It's never going to be posted again. Also take note that this fic is a product of boredom and lack of sleep, so enjoy.

XXX

She makes her way onto the stage, greeted by the sudden burst of applause from the audience watching her. Nervously, she glances back to her manager, who gives her a thumbs up from behind the velvet curtain offstage, and she continues forward. She is the one and only Sayoko Shirinagitani. Her eyes scan the crowd before her, hoping to pick out a few familiar faces, but no one grabs her attention. She hopes Kei is at home with her grandfather, watching her show.

Yes, she's a newbie celebrity with her own talk show.

Emo with Sayoko.

Only god knows where her manager came up with the crack title.

Her wardrobe was just as bad. Just before the show, she had been taken and forcefully dressed in dark, almost gothic style clothes from Hot Topic, and dolled with black eyeshadow, mascara, and lipstick, that make the men in the crowd go ballistic. Her Grandfather was probably having seizures by now.

After one last glance to the crowd, she found a seat on a plush chair onstage and looked into the camera. "Welcome to Emo with Sayoko. Today we've brought in a very special guest, who'll hopefully give us a glimpse into his emo life. Please welcome Kanone Hilbert."

The Kanone fans in the audience screamed like mad and burst into tears as their beloved sauntered onto the stage with a slight swing to his hips. Once he sat down, Sayoko began the interview. "Well, Kanone. How have you been?" she smiled, fighting the urge to get up and run like hell.

A soft laugh settled upon the brunette's lips at the question. "Horny." he replied, as Sayoko's eyes widened.

"E-excuse me?"

"I believe I said I'm horny, dear. Didn't you hear me the first time?"

"I...I did, but..." Sayoko blushed nervously. "Are you always...?"

"Oh, yes." Kanone chuckled. "It's one of the reasons why I'm emo. I feel no one truly understands why I'm like this, or can help me with it. It's also because I'm a mean and violent bastard to the little Narumi fella. I can't help it. Just looking at him makes me wanna slice his head open. God, he's such a little pansy, and it's all because he's nothing like his sonofabitch brother. Both the bastards are better off dead." he explained.

"Um, alright." Sayoko scooted away from the madman. "Do you take any form of medication for this?"

"I used to, but when i killed my psychiatrist, I quit, and resorted to trying to kill little Narumi. I find that held relieve some of the stress." he smiled, proceeding to tell his story. "One time, I had him trapped in an abandoned warehouse, with Madoka as a hostage, and..."

"Ok, onto our next guest." Sayoko watched at her manager escorted Kanone offstage. "Now, we have Eyes Rutherford." she watched as the pianist stepped up and found a seat. "May I just say, you're looking really hot today, Mr. Rutherford?" she asked.

"I know." The Brit. Replied, as he brushed his hair over his shoulder. "I try..." he added.

"Are all Brits. As hot as you?" The blonde moved closer to the boy.

"They try to be, but they're nowhere near my perfection. Even my twin brother, Eriol can't surpass my sexy, hot, emo-ness. I'm a God, love, and don't you forget it." he stated.

Eriol stood up from his seat in the audience. "You're a fraud, you bastard! I'm twice as good-looking than you!" he screamed.

"In your dreams, baby brother." Rutherford sighed.

Sauoko shook her head. "So why are you here today?"

Because I'm emo" Eyes replied.

"Well, I know that, but what makes you that way?"

"No one understands who I really am. Everyone just sees my music, or a pretty face and a hot body. I'm a Blade Child, damnit! I kill people! Don't love me!" he screamed, earning screams of admiration from the crowd.

"Any questions from the audience?" Sayoko turned to the people as a dozen or more raised their hands.

"Yes, you in the back." she nodded.

Tohru Honda stood up. "If I hug you, what kind of animal would you turn into?" she smiled.

"I'd become an albino tiger. I like them because they're beautiful, but also deadly and can rip a grown man's head off" Eyes said.

"But Kisa's already a tiger!" Tohru whined. "There can't be two tigers in the fucking Chinese zodiac!" the brunette cussed and flipped over her chair in a fit of anger, hitting Eriol in the head and giving him a concussion.

Sayoko sighed as the crowd gasped. "We'll be right back after these messages."

Commercial: Buttsex. Barney and teletubbies singing as they make out. Children and parents burning out their eyes. Mass suicides and cow slaughters. The death rate goes up dramatically, and the government sends out cheese to calm the rioting. Bush sets fire to his underwear.

A/N: Stay tuned for chapter two. Flames and reviews are welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I hate society. I hate making friends. I hate everything that involves having an relationship only to be hurt and betrayed in the end. I don't need it. I never did, and if you think that I do, then you all can go to hell. I don't want your opinion or pity. Yes this is one of the many reasons why I'm emo, and if you don't like it, then you can just stop reading and go fuck yourselves, I could care less. And I'm also seriously pissed because some bitch stole my fucking fic without even asking and had the goddamn nerve to post it on her fucking Myspace site. The very fic I'm doing a sequel to, the fucking dueshe. Feel free to drop by the site and leave a few nasty comments for her. Much obliged. And enjoy the fic

XXX

Casseeinamirror: But I have other things to do besides sleep.

KousukeAsazuki: The commercial...yeah, it scared me too once I re-read it. I won't be adding Kiyotaka, since I didn't plan on it. But now, I think I will. He deserves to be emo, just like me, the poor bastard. And I'll take great pleasure in doing it.

Hatori Ichihara: Heck, I had Rio and Ryoko already partially written before you reviewed. But I'm glad you like those two. I guess Hizumi, Ayumu, and Madoka will have to wait.

XXX

And now, back to Emo with Sayoko.

"Our next guest is Rio Takeuchi." Sayoko said. The short girl skipped onto the stage. She's a peppy emo."So, Rio, tell us..."

"Before she could finish, Rio cut in. "The Internet is taking over religion, I threaten random people on MySpace, (which is a cult), eat melons, and explode stuff. Eyes doesn't love me, so I cut myself, too. Believe it!" she suddenly cried out.

"Um..." Sayoko blinked, looking to her manager, and back to Rio. "Go on...?"

Rio shifted in her chair. "My ass hurts." she frowned. "And I have a Caps Lock addiction. That's why Kousuke told me not to email him anymore."

"So...how does all this make you emo?" A member from the audience asked.

"It's not time for questions, you fucking prick, so sit your ass down!" Sayoko yelled. "Forget it..._Security_!" she and Rio watched as Shigure and Hatori dragged the audience member away. "Now, getting back to the interview..." Mint green eyes looked at Rio. "You say MySpace is a cult. How do you figure that?"

"Because it's got so many people gathered together. It's scary. What if it comes to claim us emo's next?"

"You should start a war." Sayoko encouraged.

"Yeah...we should..." Rio nodded, smiling at the idea.

"Now, our next guest," The blond Blade Child turned her attention to the brunette who walked onto the stage. "How are you, Ryoko?"

"I'm good." the crimson-eyed girl said, taking a moment to straighten out her skirt after she sat.

"That's nice." Sayoko nodded, smiling to her. "You don't seem emo at all. In fact, you seem pretty normal."

"I'm really not." Ryoko frowned. "I've got issues, just like everyone else. Maybe even more."

"Well, then," Sayoko flipped her hair over her shoulder, feeling less tense than she did before. "Would you care to share some of them with us?"

"No, not really." she took out a bread and began to munch on it.

"Um," the blonde blinked. 'But, you're on the show to show the world just how emo you are."

"No, I'm on the show to tell the world that Kousuke Asazuki is a loser, and always will be." she huffed, before taking another bite from her snack. "That moron..." a displeased growl settled on her lips.

"Alright then, thank you..." The host turned to the cameras out in the audience. "And now, a word from our sponsors."

Eyes: ...(stares) I'm rich. I can do whatever, whenever. Fear me.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: **PLOT BUNNIES ARE MELTING MY BRAIN!!!!!!!!!**...Just thought you ought to know. Moving right along...

LadyDuzie: Thank you so much. I feel like all my hard work pays off with reviews like that. And...you know...I try to keep the readers satisfied.

XXX

And now, Back to Emo with Sayoko...

"Welcome back to our show." Sayoko nodded toward the cameras. "Today, we have with us, Madoka Narumi."

No one in the audience clapped, and received a very nasty glare from said woman, which they returned with booing. "Fine, be that way." The dark-haired woman scowled as she took a seat beside Sayoko. "They're all just jealous of my good looks anyway."

"I'm sure they are." Sayoko sighed. "Would you care to shed some light on why you're emo?"

"Why am I emo?" Madoka hummed softly. "Why not? My husband left me, and he's probably screwing some whore in the Bahama's, while I get stuck at home with my brother-in law who can only fix me curry when I come home! And _then_ he says I'm getting fat! That bastard!" she huffed. "Can you believe him?"

"I'd rather not answer that, if it's alright with you." Sayoko spoke, avoiding the weight problem entirely. "You said that your husband left you. Do you know why?"

"He left to go play around with those annoying Blade Children, and the worst part is, he's got Ayumu involved in it, now! And he always acts like nothing is going on when I try to ask him about it! Dirty little liar. And I know he's been sleeping with that Rutherford boy!" she screamed suddenly, drawing startles gasps from the audience. "If he comes home with an STD, so help me, I'll..."

Sayoko sweatdropped, then coughed quietly. "Anyway, moving on...Our next guest is none other than Ayumu Narumi himself." Another series of gasps was drawn from the crowd as the brunette sauntered onto the stage and sat down. "Ayumu, how are you?"

"I'm just fine." said boy flashed a small frown to the cameras, then glanced to Eyes, who was waiting for him backstage.

"So why are you with us today, Ayumu?"

"Well," The boy paused. "I'm emo, and it all boils down to my brother. I can never be as good as he is, and I feel like I'm never going to be, no matter how hard I try. I wanna be better than him sooooo bad, and so I start angsting about it, and everyone calls me a faggy little gay loser, and I know that I am, but I can't help it. I wanna see my brotherrr..." The brunette-haired boy complained. "And to top it off, I hafta save the Blade Children, too? I've got so much crap people expect me to do, and all because my brother was too much of a prick to save them himself."

Sayoko nodded, understanding the boy's situation. "Well, it does seem like an awful lot for you to handle all on your own." she said.

A sigh settled upon Ayumu's lips, and he settled back into his chair to get a bit more comfortable. "Then there's this girl who won't leave me along. I swear, she's crazy or something, and she's always stealing my lunches, the greedy sonofabitch." he explained. "What? Is the school lunch not good enough for her or something? Now getting back to the Blade Children..." he continued. "They think I'm their savior or something, and so...I know I'm supposed to do something heroic and badass, but...I'm just not feeling it." ("in the end" by Linkin Park begins to play in the background) Ever since Square Enix messed up my image, I can only think about angst...and my brother...more angst and...and...and...nipple rings."

Ryoko glances up as she sits in the audience, and looks around as she hears the background music begin to play. "Oh God. Will someone _please_ turn that crap off?"

Kousuke, who's busy working with the lights and sounds, reluctantly stops the music, glaring at Ryoko through the glass window.

Ryoko quickly crosses her arms and glares up at him, working in the very back of the room. "Yeah! That's what I thought!" she frowns, as Kiyotaka walks onto the stage without any approval from Sayoko.

"Ayumu? Are we debating the meaning of your life again?" he asks to his brother, sitting down, and wrapping an arm around the younger brunette to pull him close.

"Don't talk to me about life." The younger sibling pouts, shrugging away from his brother's touch. "All you, and everyone else wants me to do is run around trying to help the Blade Children. I have my own life, you know!"

Kanone observes the two Narumi's from his seat in the audience, before speaking his mind. "You two should just make your lives as simple as mine. I only care about two things: beer, and boobs.' with that said and out of the way, he cast his gaze to Hiyono's rack. "Oh, baby!"

Ayumu frowned. "Dude. You know those are fake, right?"

Hiyono glared to the freshman. "Are _not_!" she countered quickly, in her defense.

Ayumu rolled his eyes, then leaned forward in his seat, while resting an arm one one of his knees. "Hiyono, come on." he sighed, holding back most of his frustration. "It was unbelievable enough when pixelated, but CG is even phonier."

The perky blonde looked down with a small frown touching at her lips. "Yeah...you're right." she realized.

At the truth of the comment, Rio quickly leapt from her chair, drawing a look from a concerned Kanone beside her. "I _knew_ it! I _knew_ you were using padding!" she cried.

Eyes glared slightly from backstage. "Damnit."

Hiyono blinked, then pushed Kanone's hand off her chest. "Oh, hey Rio! Kanone was just trying to cop a feel."

The grey-eyed youth shook her head, then turned her attention toward the younger of the Narumi's. "Ohhhh. Um, hey, Ayumu? What about..._mine_?" she batted her large, grey eyes at the boy.

Ayumu stared at the girl like she was on drugs. "What about 'em?" he asked, not really into flat-chested women. In fact, he wasn't even into women at all!

Rio blinked at the lack of interest on his part, then sat back down, pouting slightly. "Ugh."

Ayumu shrugged. "So we got some time to kill..." he paused as the last words echoes through his head. "To...kill..." he parroted, playing with the words, and getting ideas in that head of his.

"Stop angsting!" Kiyotaka said, sharply. "Ago help the Blade Children with the Hunters." The man is suddenly silenced by Pokemon boss background music, and his attention is drawn to a silver-haired trio that saunter onto the stage.

Kanine blinks a few times. "What the fuck? Is that...Pokemon background music?" he glances to Kiyotaka, hoping for an explanation, only to find said man just as confused.

Kadaj turns toward the elder Narumi and greets him with a smexy grin. "Prepare for nipple."

"And make it triple." Yazoo adds, standing behind his brother.

"To provide the main characters with frustration." Loz glances to the younger boy seated near Kiyotaka, and rests his arm around Yazoo's shoulder.

"To be the hottest within our nation." Yazoo leans slightly against Loz, before folding his arms across his chest.

"To find our mother. Where she is? We don't knows." Kadaj joined once more in the theme, and cast a small smile to Eyes, offstage.

"Even if it involves slappin' some ho's." Loz added.

"Kadaj." The younger sibling glanced toward the Blade Children in the audience, specifically, Kanone.

"Yazoo." The longer-haired sibling introduced himself soon after.

"Loz." the last brother joined in, before Kadaj once again took over.

"Silver-haired men blast off at the speed of light."

Yazoo smirked and flipped his hair in a way that made him look even sexier. "Oh hell yeah." he said, sexily.

"That's damn right." Loz finished, as he nodded slightly. Ayumu and the Blade Children stared at the trio, speechless. Loz gets slightly offended and nods slightly toward Ayumu. "What?"

"Who the hell are you?" he asked.

"Weren't you listening to our kickass introduction?" Loz glared at the boy, sending a shiver down his spine.

Yazoo shook his head lightly. "We were originally in the series, but we got cut out when it went to DVD. We were in all the trailers, but you damn kids got all the glory." he explained, a bit too calmly.

The producers of the show and the makers of Square Enix rose from their seats in the audience. "That was just a marketing ploy to get all of the people's money." they explained in unison.

"Doesn't _that_ suck?" Kosuke frowned.

Sayoko sighed and shook her head, growing weary of the odd guests her manager booked for the show. "Let's cut to a commercial."

Taco Bell Chihuahua: (stare) ...nacho combo with a diet coke...viva gorditas! Yo Queiros Taco Bell...

A/N: I don't have any ownership over the chara's. of FF7, Pokemon themes, or Taco Bell.


End file.
